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My Sailor’s Love: A Personal Tale By A Queen

Received a forwarded message  on my whatsapp and I felt it being so true. Sharing it here with due credits to the author, poet or sailor. Salute to him for beautifully expressing his thoughts and sharing a page from his life, speaking not just for himself but the entire fraternity.  I know they are men of a few words and many can never express what they feel with words. They are the action speaks louder than words people. They’ll do, you have to feel! It wasn’t just like that the sailor’s girl was called the queen. He’ll treat you like one. As a sailor’ s wife and a blogger I have covered many aspects of our lives from a woman’s perspective. It’s heartwarming to hear from the sailor in his own words. I say that every word is true and deserves it’s weight in forget gold, may be platinum if any value could be attached to it. It’s priceless to say the least!

An Ode To The True Sailor

My life moves in a circular direction. I come back home to go away and go away to come back.
I have no address except for the name of the vessel yet my passport shows one. My home is elsewhere, where my heart belongs.
I am not like any other man but yet I am the most ordinary person at heart.
I cannot go through the daily mundane stuff of the ordinary man and yet the ordinary man cannot take the pain I go through.
He cannot live away from his home, love and life for months on end.
He cannot be the helpless son, lonely husband or the yearning father.
 My Sailor
He will never know the frustration of staying awake for days and many times not getting rest at all, working round the clock.
There are no constant time zones we stick to.
The ordinary man will not know the lonely cabins I come to after work, where as he comes to a house full of people.
He gets to eat what his mother/wife cooks and gets to be hugged by his children daily.
I only see them growing in pictures, he gets to hear them and see them daily, whereas I have to be strong and do my duties.
My wife must be silently wiping her tears, braving the pain & consoling the kids that father will be home soon.
Her hands must be longing to hold mine, her heart must be longing to love me, her lips must be longing to tell all that happens during the day, her eyes longing to look into mine.
Whenever she looks at couples on the way to market, she must be turning her eyes away and consoling herself that just few more days.
I am an ordinary man away, doing my job. I tell everyone to understand that I need to be away.
I am not a Casanova, I go to the shore to step on land because I’ve not felt it beneath my soles for long.
I am a very lonely man.
The biggest fear that grips my heart is when my family needs me I may not be around.
I fight myself daily, I fight these surging thoughts, I tell myself-not now mate, duty calls.
I look forward to the day I meet my folks at home, pray for their safety and wellbeing and hope they are happy.
I only want them to know, while I stand tall at the bridge, that I love my family and I am proud of who I am and what I do.
The ordinary man I am inside, I shall always be.
But the man I am today, no ordinary man shall be..

My Sailor’s Ways

 After being married for 12 years, when I look back so many things unfold that once got me upset were actually his ways of sensitizing and preparing me for our lives ahead. I have been like a princess for him from the day we were introduced for marriage, I say introduced as it was an arranged marriage.

He had seen my house and my room during our courtship days which were about 6 months.  In our culture the girl goes to her husband’s house only after marriage. So I hadn’t seen his. But when I went there our room was a replica of my own at my parent’s house, but bigger and more luxurious as it was going to be for the two of us, with stars on the ceiling that lit bright in the night. I could look at them when he was away on work. He got his house renovated before our marriage and a lot of ideas were taken from mine so that I was comfortable and the place had an element of familiarity. I literally felt at home!

My first Karwachauth was during our courtship days. He was home then, my mom in law asked if I would like to follow the ritual which I immediately answered in the affirmative. He called again to tell me that it was never a compulsion, he thought I might not be the girl who’ll fast with no food or water. I told him that I loved all the festivities connect with it moreover it was a celebration of our love, which was blossoming then, I’d fast for sure.

It was evening almost 10 pm and he hadn’t come to see me. I was so very upset visualising all the romance of the festival that our Bollywood films brought. I did the rituals with my mother. He could have come over and made it even bigger than DDLJ but he chose not to as I’d be alone the next Karwachauth.  He didn’t want me to miss him thinking of how it was the first time. It did happen that he wasn’t home the following year and I celebrate the festival with my mom in law. He called and hearing his voice mattered the most to me.

He has had his ways of making a girl who was cocooned and everything provided for, into a Sailor’s Queen. When I go down the memory lane, just like today being the Karwachauth and he busy onboard into a long maneuvering, I realise how smart he has been preparing me for things without ever dropping a hint. Some of those incidents caused misunderstandings or tiffs but he made sure that I learnt or discovered things on my own. The more I learn about him the deeper my love becomes.

Many sailor’ s wives, fiancés and girlfriends follow my blogs and so many write back to me. I felt like sharing a few cherished moments from my life. A sailor has his way of doing things, just be with him with all your love and understanding, you’ll be his forever queen!
Love is not looking at each other but looking in the same direction.
Happy Karwachauth, be blessed!

PS Mehendi pic courtesy Nisha Siddarth, a Sailor queen.
Laxmi Todiwan
Founder, Indian Women in Hospitality (IWH). She is a Professor, Corporate Trainer, Motivational Speaker and a Blogger. A multiple award winning hospitality professional with a career spanning over two decades; people engagement, training and development are close to her heart. She writes for hospitality journals, online platforms and columns in the local newspapers. Married to a Master Mariner, Capt. Rajesh Todiwan, she loves to write on the maritime industry as well as the lives and relationships of the fraternity. She expresses her thoughts on her blog and website

One Reply to “My Sailor’s Love: A Personal Tale By A Queen

  1. Hi
    Very Well written
    Can i get your mail id if its convinient
    Wanted to contact you
    Thank you

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