Unquestionably dating a sailor has changed my entire life. It is not like any other
relationship that you witness your friends and family have. It is a relationship in
which you will face things which would break any ordinary couple. Requiring a
strong dependency on one another, especially your sailor on you, and an unfaltering commitment form the start.
My life has become his, evolving around him and his duty at sea which I live and experience with him. At the same time, this has given me the greatest fulfilment in my life that I have ever known. Life is now filled with love in abundance, pleasure
and purpose, and a new normal has been established. Having someone in your life who simply needs your presence, love and unwavering unconditional support is one of the greatest gifts you could ever receive, and I feel honored and proud that my sailor trusts me with this duty.
Each day and night I make myself available for him, as there are no timings when it comes to life at sea. This is what makes our relationship even more special, because we have that mutual understanding and respect for one another which doesn’t have to be asked for. He knows I will always be there and I know he will make time whenever he can. We are each others priority.
My days start and end with checking the location of his ship, waiting for that message which may or may not come, or for his rare arrival into port which if possible grants a video call interrupted with plenty of network issues. When he is not online, I find myself checking the latest maritime and piracy news to give me peace of mind. And when he is online, I check how his day has gone, if he is safe, has he eaten enough and done the simple tasks just to keep a normality of home life. All whilst
maintaining our life at home.
I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say life is hard at times. My days are also filled with
worry, fear for his safety, questioning will he ever come home and am I letting him
down, uncertainty, stress, endless sleepless nights, admittedly occasional fights and at times an overwhelming sense of loneliness when dealing with issues at home which often I choose not to share to protect him and his wellbeing. His need also varies depending on the day he has had. I have to use my senses and intuition to understand how he truly is and the things he doesn’t say, and yes I do sometimes get that wrong.
However, these are just an understandable part of our life apart at sea. Everyday I face situations and fear that nothing can prepare you for from severe
storms, sailings through pirate zones and long voyages without shore leave. From the first contract to our third, every one has been different. You think you have seen and heard it all and are prepared, but a new experience will always occur, which you just have to stay strong and get through, and you will. Even when he is home on leave, life still revolves around the sea. Studying, exams, travelling for reporting and preparing for the next contract take up our time, but we do them together.
Not only has life changed, but I have also. It has made me grow not only in strength but as a person as a whole. It makes you appreciate the simple things such as a phone call and seeing his smile, and realize the things that are truly important. I face judgement from people everyday. They say to me is it worth it and how do you manage? Without any doubt the answer is always yes and that we manage because we love each other. His job is just a part of our life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
We are a team.
This article was written by Sailor girlfriend Carla. She hails from United Kingdom.
Image Copyrights to respective owners. Disha Dandekar Original Owner of the picture.