Am So Brave Because I am a Sailors Wife

It’s certainly being brave being a wife; no matter whose! 

Am sure you’ve heard the saying, Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. I haven’t read the book though, by the same title written by John Gray. It was always on the back burner and still remains there! May be one day soon I shall grab a copy and read it.

Also, have heard that, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus but they suffer on Earth!

Coming to the point, how being married itself is being brave. I am certainly not an expert on the subject but I do have a Martian in my life…. actually three if the little Martians can be counted in the list! My first experience with this Martian was when we met for the first time, almost 13 years ago. Yes, we liked each other, when we got talking he spoke only his negatives. I wondered how someone couldn’t think of anything positive in him, quite contrary to the general expression by most men. They try to impress the lady, may be this Martian had marriage on mind so he hit the nail on the head. If it struck it was good otherwise all was well; must have been the thoughts in his mind. It did work and worked how…..we are married!

Am So Brave Because I am a Sailors Wife

I have read articles/ blogs/ queries coming from sailors’ wives and most of them have the tone, that of being brave, making supreme sacrifices or that of being different. All women are different! People are different including identical twins! Some common ones expressed by shippy wives are:

  1. Loneliness

Sailors wives have to be alone most of the times or for months together. That’s true for all wives whose husbands are in the armed forces, paramilitary, police, are doctors or hoteliers for that matter. They are away generally and on important dates, they’ll certainly be away! That doesn’t make us much different isn’t it?

  1. Sailors are the best

Sailors are human beings and they can be good or not so good. Profession doesn’t really have a bearing on one’s character. Sailors are certainly good at multi tasking and have many skills. Agree they are great guys who can do almost everything and can get along with almost everyone. In their profession too they work with different nationalities and different teams on every contract. This makes them amicable and tolerant. You are certainly lucky if you managed to get the best out of them (I mean men here)

  1. Love story

A write up by a shippy wife will always be on her love story. Have read so many love stories of the sailors, in their better halves’ versions. Are people really interested in knowing how you met and what you did? All love stories have all the elements of a blockbuster and a sailor story is no different. It does have a dash of long distance romance but that garnish comes with the dishes churned out by many other professions such as marketing or IT for instance.

  1. Sailor’s queen

Every man worth his salt will ensure that his wife is treated, as well as lives the life befitting a queen. I personally feel a sailor’s wife does most of the things on her own when her husband is away. She doesn’t depend on a battery of servants to manage things for her. She is much more than a queen. She becomes a master, just like many other women who manage their homes, work and lives in general.

I am asked so often, how do I deal being married to a sailor who is away from home for months. I think it’s a choice I made.  I chose the man and he came as a ‘package’ that had his family, his profession and his identity. I am an independent woman, have my career, my children and my family. I am an equal half to my husband so we need to work together and manage our work and home front just like any other couple.

A girl who is in a relationship with a sailor and wants to walk down the aisle with him must not be scared of the misinformed notions surrounding him by virtue of his profession. But must think of it being like any other relationship where the husband is away for a few months. It becomes a long distance relationship then, having its own pros and cons. The biggest being, distance makes the hearts grow fonder.

All husband-wife relationships involve love, respect, caring and sharing. Professions may have a little bearing on that but not overtly. Relations are more of understanding, mutual respect and to accept each other’s differences. So prioritizing and celebrating those differences is the key.

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Prof. Laxmi Todiwan

Is an Educationist, Counselor, Corporate Trainer, Show Host and a blogger. A hospitality professional with a career spanning over two decades. She is the founder of the support group, Indian Women in Hospitality (IWH) www.theiwh.com , She is married to a Master Mariner and her two sons complete her family. Learning and Development is close to her heart and she associates herself with Skill training projects. She writes for hospitality journals and also for columns in the local newspapers. Being a sailor queen, she writes on shipping industry as well as the lives and relationships of the fraternity. She expresses her thoughts in her blog, The Optimist Diary.

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